Casual Sex…

It’s not what it use to be  for many women today. 

Women are definitely in tune to fulfilling their needs, especially on the go women.  This can be quite an attractive element in the relationship.  Relationship? Yes, you read it right.  For many women long gone are the casual sex moments where he sends you on your way right after the sexual encounter has happened.  Truth be told, many women are sending the men on their way after an encounter has happened.  Truth be told many women are leaving on their own accord to catch a flight, continue on with their business committments or returning to their own place for more downtime.

When all involved are clear at all times it causes for less misunderstandings.

Many women prefer Casual Sexual Relationships to be an experience.  Both parties involved express what they want from the relationship, the boundaries not to cross, and the importance of  being friends.   Casual Sex these days doesn’t have to be cheap, with intentional actions to show no feelings are involved.

Feelings are involved when two people come together for a well-rounded pleasurable experience.  There is nothing wrong taking trips together, dining out, downtime watching movies, presenting great gifts to each other while great intense sex is happening.  Too many times the rushed more times than not relationships don’t even get to the point of  pleasure like many casual relationships do. 

I recently had lunch with a few ladies discussing the Casual Sexual Relationship.  These women ranged from 35-47.  Two ladies were married but they started out with their husbands in CSR’s. The intrigue factor was there, the CHASE element was there, and the sex was awesome.  I asked the married ladies how long was the CSR’s before there was a commitment.  One lady said three years, another said two.  I was told emphatically it was a complete NO to carry on such a relationship longer than three years.  Definitely lines are blurred spending that much time, which at this point it is time to have a conversation.  The conversation goes like, ‘Where are we headed?’  ‘Do we stil want this?’  ‘Are we being exclusive here?’  What is it that you want, I want?”  The single women said their CSR’s were less than two years and they were of the same mindset.

Responsibility is a must.  I asked were there protected sex happening.  I received various answers.  I asked were they seeing other people during the CSR’s and all said yes.  For many people it is about being open, honest and getting your sexual needs fulfilled and the need for a casual companionship/friendship.  We all agreed friendship is important.  It’s all about being respectful in a Casual Sexual Relationship. 

I am sure those who don’t SHARE,  those who would NEVER entertain the thought BEING ONE OF MANY would never take on a Casual Sexual Relationship.  I don’t recommend it to those who are of a jealous nature, suspicious nature, those who have high expectations of committment.  I feel your options are greater when you don’t limit yourself to someone who isn’t fully vested in you.  I feel more people don’t take the time to be friends, explore their own wants and needs fully before being with someone on a one on one fully committed level.

It is not about being promiscous, it is about being in reality with self.  The ideology that women are always relationship ready is so untrue.  Being in the front row of seeing friends and family failed marriages, mostly it came from not really knowing self.  Too many times family, society places much emphasis on being married, being a couple and less on dating and seeing what your options are while finding yourself in the process.

Whatever you decide when it comes to being with someone and fulfilling desires, make safe choices.  Be true to self.  When true to self, then you can completely be true to others.  Never settle or find yourself asking more times than not what could have been, or who could have been.

You’ve been deja vu’d,

BEBE